There’s a moment of the day- every day- when I’m terrified of going near my four year old Esperanza. It’s the moment she goes number two. I just don’t understand why this is, but… I truly did not think a major aspect of parenting would be dealing with poop. And big poop!
Back in my babysitting days I often dealt with baby poop. It was stinky but manageable. I didn’t realize that at the stage we start potty training, is also the stage kids’ poop get really messy.
I don’t believe I was always afraid of poop. But after getting married and sharing a bathroom with a boy for the first time… well, I’ve developed a healthy fear.
I literally get a minor panic attack and I have to take a shower right away if it touches a finger. The reason this is embarrassing is because, my minor freak outs when dealing with Esperanza’s poop actually affected her terribly.
She first stopped telling me when she’d go poop. Which meant her clothes often got dirty. And of course I would be close to tears having to deal with this.
Then I suddenly started to notice, my little princess would often be clenching her butt. She literally got to the point where she tried her hardest not to poop at all in order to stop me from freaking out. YES, I do feel like a horrible mother! I made my daughter stop pooping!
After noticing this habit kept up, my husband and I started begging Esperanza to use the toilet. And it was then I realized, I had some repenting to do. I literally humbled myself and went to me daughter, got down on my knees and told her just how wrong I was to show disgust to a normal bodily function. This girl is such an angel. She just smiled at me so sweetly and said, “I forgive you mommy”.
Oh gosh. It’s still hard. I mean I think Esperanza has a very caring nature and she simply does not want to cause anyone discomfort. So, I now have to go with her to the bathroom when she has to poop. And I have to tell her that it’s going to be ok. Then once she finally does the deal, I say so many thank yous and try my absolute hardest to not show any sign of disgust.
This has honestly been the hardest aspect of parenting for me. Along with the most embarrassing. I must not be the only one with this kind of embarrassing story. So feel free to let me know yours in the comments below or on my social media accounts. I’m praying this fear goes away before potty training the baby.
