It recently really hit me like a ton of bricks. It won’t stop. As long as I’m on this earth I will have bad days. As long as I’m on this earth there’s likely going to be bullies I encounter. As long as I’m on this earth there will be seasons of not having enough. There will be seasons of struggle. But what is my reason to keep going?
When it comes down to it, I’m not working for the weekend anymore. You remember those days? You’d work hard at your job to have fun and go out on the weekend. But parents rarely have that commodity.
As a parent we don’t have the liberty of having days off from hard work. And in fact, we work without acknowledgment or praise.
In fact, we work hard only to be judged by those without kids or even other parents who pretend to have it all together.
We are criticized and put down even after having spent all day on our feet cooking, cleaning, running errands doing homework with the kids- as though we still haven’t done enough.
What is it that keeps me going when after doing all I can I am still left feeling like I haven’t done enough?
Truly and honestly it’s Jesus.
The other day I was telling my husband about how hard these last few weeks have been for me. I told him honestly that if I didn’t have Jesus I don’t believe I would still be here on this earth. Because this earth is far too difficult and unfair to find continuous value and joy in remaining here.
Especially as a mompreneur who has kids six and under- it’s none stop. When things get hard in one aspect of my life, I don’t have the liberty of just taking a day off and going on a vacation. I have to keep pushing forward and getting things done.
There are days I feel like giving up. If a parent says they never experience this feeling, they’re lying. But what matters most is where your strength comes from in that moment.
Without the time I spend praying to Jesus for strength I don’t believe I would still be here.
I have so many days when all I want to do is dwell on how awful the world is. I want nothing more than to be Eyore from Winnie the Pooh. But without begging Jesus for joy I know for a fact I wouldn’t be here today.
It’s hard to find joy these days. I mean many of us are still not back to our normal routines. We are still not able to gather with friends and go out to dinner at restaurants or even church. Many of the hobbies we used to enjoy have been put on hold. I still can’t find a gym I can attend that has childcare. I still can’t find a dance class to attend- and I’m not doing it online. It’s just not the same.
I’ve literally lost aspects of life that made life worth living. This is why I have to spend everyday begging Jesus Christ to give me joy. I have to spend time reading the bible, remembering what my reason to live is.
I’m reminding myself that it’s not all about being happy with things and circumstances. Because this world can so easily take these things from us.
Many parents say they find joy in their kids. But there are many parents out there that lose their kids. And for those kids that survive into adulthood- they grow up and live their own lives. There’s no assurance they will remain close to their parents. We have to find joy and reason to live beyond our circumstances.
There’s something beautiful about a family that doesn’t have much. But they smile, laugh and sing because they know an almighty power created them and loves them and have put worth and value on them that’s more than their circumstances.
They know that this world can fade away in an instant and they have an eternal home in heaven where there won’t be all the yuckiness of this awful world.
My worth isn’t in the here and now. It’s not in my circumstances. My reason to live is in an untouchable and immovable, powerful source. Jesus Christ who has created a home for me and everyone else on this earth- should we choose to accept his invitation to live there.
This is my reason to keep living and moving forward in this difficult world. Knowing that Jesus has a reason for me being here. Knowing there are many out there who need to know His love and I can show it to them and tell this to them.
So many people die suddenly in so many random ways. The fact that I’m still here, means he’s not done with me yet. So I keep pushing forward.
Do you know your reason for remaining on this earth? Do you know your reason for moving forward with so much against you?
If you want to know more about Jesus Christ and his love, email info@maturingmama.com and we’d be happy to talk with you about having a relationship with Him and giving Him control over your life.
