Here’s your opportunity to learn more about the parenting styles of each Maturing Mama. No Mama is exactly the same in her parenting skills. This is our opportunity to highlight our differences in parenting in a means to help you find a method that works for you.
Today’s Question
What’s something that your mom did when you were a child that astounds you as a mom today?
There’s one moment in particular that defines the type of mom my mother is.
My mom wanted my twin sister and I to have experiences here in Canada that we couldn’t get in Trinidad, where we moved from at age eleven. One of these experiences she was especially excited about was band class!
I could tell that my sister and I being in band class was a big deal for her. It made her so proud! I believe it was especially for her, knowing that band classes in Trinidad was so expensive for kids. It was something only upper class families could take part in.
My twin sister and I started out playing flute and clarinet. But one year we couldn’t afford to rent these instruments from the music store. So the band teacher offered to give us free instruments to use at home- a large tuba and baritone.
These were massive instruments and my family didn’t have a car to take these home. My mom lugged both instruments home for us on foot! On foot! She was strong!
I remember seeing her after she picked them up. She was out of breath and sweaty. And I knew these instruments were heavy. For me, just carrying one was hard to do.
To this day I can’t believe she did that for us. To be seen walking down the street awkwardly carrying these two instruments would be embarrassing to begin with. But to do this knowing it was to give her kids the opportunity to play music… I’m not worthy of that kind of love! I can only hope to be that kind a mom to my kids.
Something my mum did when we was children that now astounds me as a parent… My mum never drove until we was in high school.
She worked three different cleaning jobs on foot and she was always on time to collect us and take us to school. We would never have to worry about her not being waiting for us at the gates. Even if we did dread that long walk home.
As a mum it astounds me because I work from home and I’m still always late for everything. The energy, where did she get it from- because some days just cleaning my one home is enough. Let aloan looking after 2 children and working 3 jobs, while only travelling by foot. She worked above and beyond to provide for us and could never afford to do her own driving.
I remember my mom as this unstoppable force when I was growing up. The first memory that popped into my head when I read this topic were the times that she would sleep in the car (in the winter, in Alaska) during our karate lessons. Sounds weird, but let me explain.
At the time she was working nights, taking classes for her Master’s degree, and raising three kids and a husband. She rarely had time to sleep, snatching hours here and there when she could, but it was so important to her that we be well rounded and try different sports that she chose to take us to karate in the evenings rather than catch some precious sleep.
As I mentioned, we lived in Alaska and it was COLD in the winter. We would pull up to Karate and run in shivering, and she would leave the car running for a little heat, lean her chair all the way back and take her much needed nap. After class, it was so sad to wake her up. She would be dead asleep and look so peaceful.
That woman was so strong, and so determined to hold everything together and make it work. I marvel at the things she was able to accomplish in her short life. She was married and pregnant at 17, had her second baby (me) at 21, and my younger brother at 24. During this time and as we were growing up she worked full time, managed to put herself through college, graduated, and began her career working with abused and neglected children. I honestly have no idea how she juggled everything and still managed to make us her top priority.
I lost my mom when I was 23. My oldest son Kale was not quite 2 yet, so I had certainly had that first taste of motherhood, but my journey was just beginning. Now Kale is 14 and my youngest son Koen just turned 8. As a mom, there are too many things to list that astound me about her, and I would absolutely love the chance to pick her brain now that I have lived and experienced and would more appreciate her wisdom! My mom was my best friend and we spoke on the phone every day (usually several times). It just never occured to me that we wouldn’t have more time.
My mom taught me through her actions how to love my children unconditionally and with my whole heart. She taught me that we as women and as mothers can accomplish absolutely anything we set out to do. It will be hard work, but it will be worth it. I love this quote, “What comes easy won’t last long. What lasts long won’t come easy.” – Unknown
Happy Mother’s Day to all you beautiful mommas out there!
I have always been astounded and duly impressed by my mom’s ability to manage finances. As
a child it was something I recognized, but never completely understood.
It wasn’t until I was an
adult, earning and managing my own money, that I really stopped to pay attention to how she
managed money.
My family was certainly not a rich one. My mother worked as a maid in a resort. She earned
minimum wages with occasional tips.
Yet we always had what we needed.
One particular situation that has stayed with me over the years, and the one I share with my
children, was how my mother managed my sisters education.
In her final two years of high
school, my sister opted to board in order to focus on her studies. Boarding fees were high and I
was already in university, being supported by my parents. My mother decided she would not let
my sister miss this great opportunity for her education so she worked out a plan.
The payments
were already broken down into three parts so she further broke this down into weekly amounts.
Every week she would put aside that amount in a short term savings plan with her bank. The
savings plan matured every three months, just in time to pay my sister’s boarding fees. It may
be a simple thing for some, but on a maid’s salary, I found this to be very impressive.
When I started working, my education afforded me a better salary than my mother was earning,
yet I would find that at the end of the month I was out of money and she still had her home
running smoothly. This alone made me evaluate how she did it on such a small salary.
I realized
a few things:
- Her priorities were in line with her values.
- She broke down big tasks into smaller, more manageable ones.
- She always had a plan for her money and stuck to it.
I have learned so much from my mother’s pride and discipline, I hope I can model that for my children.
My Mum is my rock, my best friend. Our relationship is very strong and there is so much about her that I love. It is very hard to pick something that she did when I was a chid that astounds me as a Mum today, but something that is pretty huge is how she supported us in every way possible as a single Mum.
She knew what made us feel comfortable and what we loved and she encouraged us to live our dreams. She helped us strive towards success academically, making sure we knew she was proud of us no matter what and encouraged us to just do our best.
She took me to dancing week by week, sewed for endless hours, sat through concerts. She took my brother to basketball week by week and travelled the state when he played rep (yes, it is common for parents to run around for their children, but it’s the way she went about it I’m talking about).
The mother’s love for her child was (and still is) evident and phenomenal. She was determined to support and encourage our interests and passions and for me personally, she was willing to do whatever it took to help my low self-esteem.
At one stage we were living in another state where I began ‘coming out of my shell’ working through struggles with fear and anxiety. Over time I formed a great friendship group and had a great Church community. Our family was looking at relocating, but as my Mum had her children in mind always, one of the reasons she decided to stay for the time being was because of how far I had come.
She was willing to and did that for me, even though the re-location may have been best for her and her future, WOW!
I’ve always known her to have such a kind and generous heart, always looking out for others and that was a big inspiration forming one of my biggest values today.
She lives her life as a Mum always wanting the best for her children and I want to do exactly the same. My career before becoming a Mum was an Early childhood educator, but now, as a Mum of two now who are very close in age (13 months) I get the honour to parent them, to be there for them, to go above and beyond for them.
And whilst I approach each day as best I can with the aim to make the most out of each and every moment and can say without a doubt that being a parent has to be one of the best and most rewarding jobs.
It has it’s challenges and to have your village around you is so important. I have so much respect for my Mum, for bringing us up as a single Mum (and certainly a huge respect for all other single Mum’s out there!) She astounds me in so many ways and I want to always make sure she knows she is loved, valued and appreciated.
When I look at the way I was parented by my mom, I honestly have no complaints. She did such a good job of always making me feel loved and heard (she still does).
I went through a rough patch as a teen and her and my dad decided to take me out of public school, to try to get me back on track. I fought them so hard for “ruining my teenage life”. I am astounded at her empathy and compassion towards me at that time because I was so rotten towards her.
I went out of my way to be mean and make it hard on her. And she fought me back with love and kindness. I’m sure she cried so many tears over me and prayed so many prayers. And now years later I thank her every mother’s day for making that hard choice with my dad to take me out of public school.
They changed my life for the better and made me who I am today. I aspire to be like her and parent the way she did with love and understanding.
