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Why I don’t believe in gender neutral identity…

Why I don’t believe in gender neutral identity…

I know it’s all the rage these days. And believe me, I have absolutely nothing against anyone that identifies or chooses to identify their kids’ as gender neutral or transgender. But here’s my story:

The last few days I’ve had horrible back pain. This back pain turned into cramps and I suddenly felt like I was running a fever. Add to this, my youngest constantly fighting me to get on my boob. And this girl is huge now. So it feels like I’m wrestling someone with my strength when I’m trying to get her off of me.

When evaluating my symptoms and talking with my mom about the female problems our family line suffers from, I discovered that I likely have endometriosis. As if painful and heavy periods weren’t enough, let’s add on another week or two of painful cramps with back pain and a complete loss of energy.

In a moment of desperation a few days ago while I was still on my period, I got on the phone with my husband while he was at work and had an absolute break down. I was begging him to please get home immediately because I was in so much pain. When he asked why and I said I was on my period, his response was “ok…”

God bless him. I mean, he knows I go through this monthly so I imagine he could presume I’m completely capable of handling my period and the kids and my business as I always do every month.

When I tried to explain what it’s like to have a period every month, along with how each day can look different and how each woman experiences these all differently- (Not to mention when I went into the emotional aspect of having a period)- the poor guy was so lost. He had no idea how to empathize.

When he got home I started crying and exclaimed, “It’s not fair! We go through so much! Women go through so much and men don’t get it!”

Let’s be honest, if it’s not periods, it’s pregnancy and if it’s not those, it’s issues like endometriosis! The last time we made a family visit to the doctor, I asked our family doctor why my husband wasn’t getting as many checkups as I have to.

She explained that men simply don’t go through as much as we do concerning our hormones and reproductive body parts. Women are simply more at risk of many different health issues than men.

It’s for this reason that I don’t believe in women and men/ female and male being interchangeable. Women physically go through so much! Our experiences with our bodies create the type of people we are and the way we respond to different situations and circumstances.

Similar to how someone who has had cancer will see the world differently. And there will be a shared view of that world through the eyes of those that have or are experiencing cancer.

In this way, men will not ever fully understand what a woman goes through with all of these health issues we have. And we women will never understand what it’s like to not have these hormones and menstrual pains.

It can perhaps be the reason we know how to multitask so well. I mean while going through out our days we are responding to our surrounding emotionally while pushing past menstrual cramps and keeping in mind how long we’ve kept that tampon in (toxic shock syndrome is no joke). Not to mention keeping track of our menstrual and ovulation cycles.

I know men go through completely different issues with their bodies that I had no idea about before marriage. I mean, apparently they will need to adjust their pants multiple times in one day. Poor things can’t easily hide their excitement.

Anyway, there will be so much I need to explain to my girls about why they will respond to situations and circumstances differently than males. I can’t hide them away from their hormones, periods, boobs or issues like endometriosis. This is life. This is the world we live in. There is beauty in our differences. This is something we can feel proud of.

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