I mentioned not long ago about my doctor referring me to a psychiatrist. This was in order to be certain that I was taking the right medication, also to be certain I was only suffering from Postpartum Depression. This meeting took place last week and it was very eye opening.
So one of the things I’ve been so blessed to have is this blog. It’s a way of coping with this condition of postpartum depression through sharing. It’s also a method of distraction regarding the business side of it.
Recently my family has needed the financial side of this endeavour more than we had in previous months; because of this, I’ve had the exciting task of picking up on the financial side of this business. I registered it as an official business and even got a business bank account and email account.
There’s this strange thing about my personality. Often times when I am presented with a challenge that looks impossible, I get super excited. I’m talking excited to the point of sleepless nights working none stop. Hiding in my room day and night, doing everything within my power to overcome this challenge, and it feels great!
My husband and I used to watch Shark Tank and one of the things Robert Herjavec said that has often echoed through my head is something along the lines of “I would rather have three hours of sleep every night if the outcome is a successful business”.
No word of a lie, since this business picked up, I started getting only three hours of sleep. However, I noticed that this was actually very counter-productive. I was an absolute zombie no matter how many cups of coffee I’d have. I probably even slowed down on the amount of work I was capable of doing because I was so tired. I likely made poor decisions as well, but I couldn’t help it, I was just so excited about this business. SO excited!… excitement isn’t bad right? Doesn’t that mean I’m not depressed anymore?
The first thing the Psychiatrist asked me when I sat down with him was, “how is your sleep?” I explained to him why I wasn’t getting enough sleep. It wasn’t like I was having nightmares or insomnia, I just had a lot to get done and I was so excited that I could just keep going.
Manic Depression… that’s what he called it. It’s a symptom of depression. An unusual elevation of mood also known as mania or hypomania. He said that he believes it’s not connected to bipolar in my case, simply a condition within the Postpartum Depression that I am suffering from. His remedy: 8 hours of sleep.
On the bright side, he confirmed that the medication I am on is exactly what I need. He believes after this year, I’ll be able to wean myself off and be back to my normal self.
So if anyone sees me online at 3am PST… just yell at me to go to bed through email or something.