I love attending baby showers. My favorite part surprisingly is not the games and treats, but it’s meeting generations of moms in relation to the upcoming baby.
There are usually many grandmas and aunties on all sides. Many have years of wisdom and stories to share about parenting.
A good friend of mine had her baby shower this afternoon and there were so many Mature Mamas in the room. Now, this was the first time in a long time that I’ve attended an event with out my kids. So of course it was only natural that I spent the entire time talking about them… And sharing pictures 🤭 I couldn’t help it!
The Mature Mamas were quick to ask about my girls’ personalities and their relationship toward one another. I was so excited to share and ask their advice.
The cool thing about moms that have done the journey and now have adult kids and Grand children, is that they’ve not only tried out different parenting methods. But also have seen the outcome of the parenting they did.
One of the oldest moms in the room had four adult boys and four grand children. Her advice literally had me smacking the palm of my hand to my head like “I shoulda had a V8!”… Any 90’s kids remember that commercial or is it just me?
I explained to this Mature Mama the difficulties we’ve been having recently concerning my four year old having accidents in her big girl panties.
Jesiah and I had tried everything to get her to stop. We used the reward system AND the punishment system. But still she goes for weeks at a time without an accident and suddenly it’s like she feels ignored and wants our attention so she has a messy accident.
This Mature Mama offered me this idea: “When she has an accident, do you ask her how it’s made her feel? What do you think she would say? And when she does use the toilet do you ask her how she feels then? Have her focus on the disappointment she feels when she has an accident and the pride she feels when she has used the toilet. Then rather than using it as something to make you feel good or bad, she instead wants to do it to make herself feel proud”.
Wow! I have never thought of it that way. But of course it makes sense! I don’t want my daughter to be a people pleaser. I also don’t want her to use her actions to manipulate or hurt others. I instead want her to look inside and know that her actions can determine her feelings about herself.
Jesiah and I are so excited to put this method to work on my daughter. I’m excited to see the outcome! What are some methods you’ve tried concerning accidents?