With Mother’s Day upon us, the Maturing Mamas took some time to answer our question of the day:
What do you love about your mom, and what can you forgive her for now that you couldn’t before?
What I love most about my mom is how willing she is to start over after we argue or disagree. She always owns up to her mistakes and is proactive in trying to be better.
What I can forgive my mom for now that I couldn’t when I was a child is, moments when she lost her temper.
I didn’t understand then how much pressure it was for her to be both mom and dad (as a single parent). Knowing that I lose my temper on my kids even though I can ask my husband to take over- shows me just how patient she actually was.
I love how strong my mom stayed when my dad turned our whole family upside down. He walked out and left us lurching while she stayed and put on a strong facade while picking up more work to help pay bills.
What I can forgive my mom for now that I couldn’t before is how she favoured my brother more. I wouldn’t be as strong willed and independent as I am now if I was treated like he was.
I loved my mom’s resilience. My mom was sick for the last two years of her life. She relied on kidney dialysis for survival but that didn’t stop her. She still lived life to her fullest, hosting family get-togethers and cooking extravagant meals for us. When Zoe was in the NICU she put aside her illness and cared for us. She took care of us when we couldn’t take care of ourselves, even though we should have been caring for her.
Now, being a mother I understand how hard it is and that I don’t have all the answers I expected her to have. I forgive her for not living up to my unrealistic expectations on what a mom should be and I love her for who she was because she did the best she could.
My mom is a mom like no other. She is one of the kindest human beings on the planet! She always puts others first and will go out of her way to make someone feel welcome. She is my role model. She never over steps or makes me feel like my way of parenting isnt “the right way”. In the rare situation where she feels like she needs to say something about the way I parent, she words it so well that I dont realize shes making a suggestion on something I could be doing better. She never makes me feel small and always empowers me. She is the kind of woman I want to be.
Growing up I went through a phase where I wasn’t making great choices.. we’ll call it my “gothic/emo phase”.. because that’s exactly what it was. My mom and dad decided to pull me out of school to homeschool me so they could keep an eye on me and keep me away from bad influences. For about 6 months I refused to talk to my mom, I isolated myself and swore I’d never forgive her or my dad. Slowly things got better. Looking back it was the best choice they ever made for me and I realized it about 2 years after they took me out of high school. I now make an effort to thank my mom every birthday and mother’s day. Even when it doesn’t feel like your mom is doing the right thing, remember that she’s doing it out of love. If you have a good mom, she will never try to hurt you on purpose.
I love how much of her own life and own self she has given up to raise me and my siblings. Me and my mum are very different mums in the respect I refuse to loose myself but i admire that she was selfless enough to do so.
I forgive my mum for staying with my father when it wasnt the right choice for any of the family. She deserves better
I love about my mum that she has such an amazing servant and persevering heart with always a positive attitude.
What I didn’t like when I was growing up that my mum was always busy doing something, mostly in a rush and rarely sat down with us. While my dad spent a lot of time with my brothers, my mum and I had hardly a mum-daughter-time. But ever since I have become a mum I realised how much it already takes, to take care of “only” the basic needs of a child. Then she, with six children, plus as a pastor’s wife where she was also very much involved in church. I’m amazed now how much she was actually able to do and what kind of high standard in homemaking she could keep.
What do I love about my mom? Well she’s a strong independent woman. Who has tought me nothing but to love myself and only ever count on myself.
The biggest thing I could never forgive my mum for was leaving my dad when I younger, until the day came that it was my choice to leave a man for the sake of my children’s happiness. My dad is an ex alcoholic / drug user. As children we witnessed my mother being beaten, and a lot of other things but my mum held on for so so long! The day she made the choice to leave my father for another man was a day I can never forget and for all my childhood could never forgive her for. Until I had my own children, and now I realise what she did was the best for us.