Ladies, what is that one thing you will NOT lose an argument about? Will hardly listen to your husband’s opinion about? Will rather die before giving anyone else the opportunity to take full advantage of? Your kids.
Your day could be going perfectly with your husband. You got some twice that night. He cleaned the kitchen for you. He even complimented you before you got yourself ready for the day. But then suddenly he makes one decision regarding the kids that he didn’t check with you on.
It can be that he gave the kids desert before dinner. He told the kids it was fine for them to go to the park alone. He bought them a video game that you told him you did not like. Suddenly it’s World War 3. And like the Mama Bear you are, the claws are out and you are ready to strike.
It’s in these moments our marriages get to the peak of destruction. That moment I don’t feel loved and he doesn’t feel respected. Someone put it this way: Having kids is like giving birth to pieces of your heart. If any one hurts them in any way, you feel it as a personal attack.
My husband and I had a moment like this recently in regards to the kids. It got to the point where the tension in our home was as thick as walking through jello. I sat alone in our room praying and thinking of how to get out of this. Come on Jesus, give me an idea!
What came to my mind was the movie Fire Proof. I thought to myself, I suppose in this instant our marriage could be worse. Then I thought about how this movie played out the journey of this broken marriage to it’s resolution. And there was my answer! The lead character in this movie used a book called The Love Dare to fix his marriage.
The Love Dare is a book that gives encouraging challenges about what Love is. Each chapter ends with a dare. A dare to show a specific (and often times difficult) act of love.
For my husband and I to initiate reading this book on our own, took some of the tension away immediately. I was happy to see that he was at least trying to do his part, as was he for me.
The first dare was to not say anything negative to the other person all day. This actually drastically changed the atmosphere. When you’re not allowed to say anything negative, you then have no choice but to be positive. We were suddenly laughing with each other. Where as, just a few hours before we weren’t even making eye contact.
Next was, to do one kind gesture for the other person. My husband looked terrified when I offered my kind gesture. I told him he could leave for a music festival earlier than planned. It was an all day into late night festival. But ofcourse I wanted him home as long as possible to help with the kids. But I knew this was something that he would truly appreciate.
Looking ahead at the following Love Dares to come, I’m determined to do it. My husband did something very loving to make sure we stay on track. Everytime he reads a new dare, he writes it down on a sheet of paper that he stuck on the kitchen cabinet.
That really touched my heart because I have bugged him about how forgetful he is at times. I ordered the Love Dare on Amazon for Kindle. It’s easier to get for a device so if you realize you hadn’t taken the time to read that days dare, you can just pull out your phone. And if you want my advice, don’t wait for your husband to read the book if he doesn’t want to. Reading it on your own will impact the way he treats you as much as it will impact you.