I feel like I’m going in circles. One moment everything looks like it’s getting better and suddenly everything crumbles into a million pieces much like a stacked deck of cards blown by the wind.
There’s something I’ve learned since dealing with the stress of these ups and downs. Stress is crippling. It literally causes me to be unproductive while doing things I believe is productive. It’s insane!
See in a perfect world when problems arise, I should be able to sit calmly and think through my options and formulate ideas. Much like quietly working on a math quiz.
Instead I get into panic mode and decide on other activities to get done that have nothing to do with solving my problem but makes me feel better. It’s like when I would get panic attacks while taking a math test and decide to focus on getting the dimensions perfectly on a doggy doodle in the margins of that test.
It’s like those that pace back and forth when they’re anxious. They’re not getting anywhere but it makes them feel like they are.
For me I start and stop activities while in a state of panic. Start the laundry- stop. Start vacuuming- stop. Start the dishes- stop. Start sending emails- stop. My husband comes home to a house that looks as confusing as my thought pattern.
I soon realized that doing a million things that seem productive in the midst of chaos is taking me further and further away from the actual problem that needs to be taken care of. In some instances that problem can become bigger while I’m getting other activities done.
In the midst of all this recent chaos I learned to meditate. Ideally I would get into a quiet room and read my Bible and get some advice from Jesus. But with these crazy kids, that’s so hard to do. It’s not always quiet and I can’t always get time alone.
So I turn on the meditation app called Abide. It’s so soothing that it actually calms my kids down as well and often time it puts the baby to sleep! This app prompts me through different ideas to focus on and questions to ask Jesus with the sound of waves in the background.
It makes me quiet all the voices in my head and listen to one voice. It makes me focus on the real issues I’m at war with. It’s not about the business, it’s about looking like a failure. It’s not about the bills or finances, it’s about not fitting in with my peers. It’s not about getting all the tasks done, it’s about feeling like I don’t matter in this world.
When I deal with the underlying issue, it takes away the anxiety of my situation and brings me to a state of peace. And with that peace in my heart, I can finally see a proper solution to my problem. I can finally see that I don’t have limitations based on my situation. I can work with these imperfections and still have a perfect outcome.
I’d like to encourage you to take a moment to think through your stressers and consider what your underlying issue could be. Bringing it to light can add so much relief to begin with. Then productivity can begin.