Today we opened up a very old Christmas gift from one of our more mature relatives… It was a DVD ? I think we got it as a gift three years ago and never opened it. We don’t usually have DVD systems around anymore. But we recently got our four year old started on using my old laptop which has a DVD player.
As I sat with my girls watching this movie I grew in frustration concerning where Maturing Mama is currently at. I felt so helpless. I hate feeling helpless. I hate feeling like I can’t do anything to help our situation with our Maturing Mama systems. Everything to move us forward financially is down. There’s no talking to clients, no working on features, no rush orders through our shops. I am on pause and I feel like I will explode.
As we watched the movie Star I prayed, “God tell me what to do! I gotta do something! Why are there so many road blocks right now? Why has everything come to a screeching halt?!”
In that moment I finally stopped my mind from racing through methods of moving forward. And I focused on the story of Jesus’ birth being played on our TV. The scene where Mary is in labor as they search for a room at the Inn is playing. Memories came back of our drive to the Birthing Unit when I was in labour. A ten minute drive- not walking from Inn to Inn. And I felt like I was going to grab the wheel and swerve to end it all. The pain was unbareable.
In that scene Joseph has moments of feeling hope in God as well as doubt. His moments of doubt hit me hard. I mean clearly if it was God’s plan for Mary to give birth to the son of God, it would be in a prestigious location. Not even just an Inn, but the freaking Hilton Hotel!
Mary gave birth to the son of God on the ground in a stable… That’s so unhygienic. I mean, that’s not safe for the birth of a child! And poor Mary, giving birth on the ground. I could hardly push a baby out while lying in a bed.
This really opened my eyes to see that God knows exactly what needs to happen and why. Jesus didn’t come to show himself as a prestigious king, better than everyone and wanting to put others down. He came as a humble servant to show the world God’s love. Jesus had a humble beginning that was planned by God.
I don’t know what God has planned for Maturing Mama that we’ve been going through this season of setbacks. But I know that His plan continues to be in process.