In today’s world families are not the conventional biological mother and father with kids. Families are often blended with siblings having different parents and numerous parent figures. The method of parenting can become cloudy with each parent having a different idea of what’s best for the child.
Here’s our newest Maturing Mama Anna to tell us how she has managed to balance the roles of mom and stepmom with the inclusion of all associated parents. You can read more about Anna here.
I can’t stress enough how big of a difference this has made and it isn’t always easy but I think the main goal of each parent is wanting what is best for our children. If we can agree on that then we can work together as a team.
We try to keep a routine that is consistent between all parents. These kids are smart and being between two homes, they will test to see what they can/cannot get a way with at each home. But if we are able to set boundaries and guidelines such as:
- the same bed time
- the same chores
- the same belifs
then the kids are able to establish respect between each home.
All of us parents have each others backs. We all go to parent teacher interviews, sporting events, and such together. We do Halloween as one big group- all biological and step parent of each child. The kids see us getting along and I believe that fills their hearts with a feeling of contentment.
We hugely believe that each child needs to gain a personal relationship with each parent. So in order to do this, we set aside one on one time. This can be tricky because we are a busy family, but we do our best.
Lylah and I will go to a high tea together or shopping or for a pedicure. Kade and I will play board games or go ice skating. Hudson and I go for strolls and go to mom and baby swimming.
Myles and Kade will go to Seattle for a baseball game, or go on bike ride adventures. Lylah and Myles go for daddy daughter sushi dates. Hudson has a bedtime bath and bottle routine with Myles.
Through these activities they learn to appreciate that time and as a result respect us.
I would say we as parents have gained a friendship type relationship. We have mutual friends and attend things such as baby showers, weddings and birthdays for our mutual friends. We text and call to arrange drop off /pick up of the kids.
Giving the kids a sense of normal is key. Our normal is different, but it’s full of love and respect with a willingness to work together.