Part 3: When Mental Illness Attacked My Body – MalaAsana

I’ve made jewelry previously in my life – all sorts – but this time something felt different. I started making the mala necklaces while deep in my darkness. I would bead and bead, sometimes making 3-4 necklaces a day.

Although I didn’t realize it at the time, it was my therapy. The focus and concentration was my meditation. I would design and then create and poof — a dose of natural serotonin. Over and over, I was pouring my energy into these pieces. I wondered if it was an intentional distraction from my grief, but it wasn’t that — it was helping me move through it.

I was already a yogi and meditation lover, but this new hobby led me down a different path toward deepening my practice. I started researching and learning about gemstones and crystals and their healing properties. I was creating jewelry typically used for meditation with precious stones that I believed contained physical and emotional healing properties.

I was finding my true self again and although that person had transformed from who I was before my father passed, it somehow felt more genuine. Wearing jewelry can be very personal and special. Some people seek out different types of jewelry for specific reasons, whether it’s for emotional or mental health reasons, to connect with their inner self, or to feel armed with protection.

Maybe you’ve recently lost a loved one — then I would recommend wearing a piece containing rose quartz, which aides in opening the heart and helps us be patient with ourselves. Maybe you’re suffering from postpartum depression — then I would recommend wearing sodalite or amethyst which I believe can provide inner peace.

I am definitely not an expert, but I care about what I make because I believe in it. Mostly I want my customers to feel whatever it was they were searching for — protection, happiness, compassion, safety , etc. Each piece is beaded and knotted by hand and made with lots of love.

During this difficult time in my life I have been taken aback by the times I’ve felt peace or contentment. It happened rarely for awhile there, so when it did happen I would take notice. Sometimes writing it down in my journal, talking to someone or meditating on the thought. I know that I feel most peaceful when I’m respecting my limits and don’t overwhelm myself. I am still healing and if I push myself it’s like taking a giant leap backwards, which is okay, but I try to listen to my body as much as I can.

I’ve also realized that there is a big difference between being selfish and being self centered. Self centeredness is toxic, but being selfish is fulfilling. It carries some sort of stigma that it’s wrong when its actually beneficial, not only for you but for everyone around you. It’s about self love and self care! I know that if I spend 10 minutes meditating or take a yoga class I can share that internalized peace with my family, friends and community. 

My story doesn’t end here of course, but it’s also not a “Voila you’re better” ending….more of a keep adjusting and learning your limits ending…. keepbeing present as much as I can type of ending. For when I am present and in the moment, I can see the white clouds more clearly; I can smell the salty ocean and absorb it; I can hear my children laugh and cherish the moment. They’re incredible. Breathe that in and sit with it — even for a minute. It feels good! And that minute could end up being 20-30 minutes of meditation, and who knows where that could take you?

Thank you Morgan for sharing your incredible journey! This post is one of three parts. You can click here to read the first part.

Since developing post partum depression, I (Chanelle) have personally struggled with rest. Not necessarily sleep. But the ability to sit or lay down, with relaxed breathing and letting my mind ponder positive thoughts. 

Anxiety causes my mind to race through negative topics and breathing becomes difficult to do. I feel the affects of my mind racing in the form of running out of breath. 

Meditation is something I realized I desperately needed. I personally use an app on my phone that prompts me through breathing and focusing on who Jesus says I am and his amazing love.

MalaAsana beads have a quality about them that can calm my restless hands while meditating. Its beads are weighted. They are heavy enough that my hands are completely focused on holding onto them rather than moving around. The texture of it’s beads are smooth and running my fingers across them brings a feeling of comfort. The colors of the beads are a calming flow of green into yellow. It reminds me of a river bed and the colors of the sun reflecting off the surface of the water. 

MalaAsana jewelry is a beautiful addition to the practice of rest and meditation. To support this beautiful handmade shop click here! And be sure to keep up with Morgan’s journey by following her on her Instagram account @mala_asana

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