Truth… Sometimes my sensitivity as a mother can get ahead of me. Even in times when it will work against my family.
We were spending a beautiful morning at the park. This particular park had bigger equipment than previous parks we’ve been to.
My four year old Esperanza (who is very tall for her age) wanted to try the monkey bars. She asked daddy to help her up and the moment her hands got a hold of those bars, he let go of her.
She screamed, I protested, her baby sister Izabella held my legs as she watched in terror. Yes my Esperanza is tall for her age, but she’s still a four year old. She’s still as scared as if she were baby Izabella’s size.
It was three against one in that moment. My girls and I against their dad. He insisted he was not going to let her fall. But I insisted he needs to assure her of that by holding onto her as she’s swinging from the bars.
After I saved her from dangling there, Esperanza said to me “mommy, next time you can hold me so I don’t fall”.
“Did you not believe daddy when he said he would catch you?”, I asked. “No, I would fall!”, she insisted.
It was then that I realized I had convinced my daughter that she couldn’t trust her dad. In all honesty, he was right beside her ready and waiting for the moment he saw any signs of her slipping. He just wasn’t doing it my way.
Baby Izabella who was simply watching the entire scene play out, stayed close to me the rest of our time at the park. Like she was afraid her dad would put her in danger as well.
My husband is a typical man. In his brave heart manner and excitement for taking risks. My girls are cautious. I’ve witnessed Esperanza stand at the edge of a pool for ten minutes before jumping in. But hey, at least she jumped.
There’s a reason my kids were blessed with both a mom and a dad. My husband teaches our girls to take risks and trust others. I teach my kids to be cautious and evaluate their surroundings before taking a chance.
There’s wisdom in both lessons. But the most important lesson of all is that I should have exemplified for my daughter that her father is trustworthy. I mean she didn’t choose him as her dad, I did! It’s because I trust him.
I feel like this is something I do often; freak out in small moments when I instead need to stay calm and show my girls that their daddy’s intention is always to keep them safe. And in moments when I do need to get involved in a situation I believe is unsafe, I can do so in a manner that doesn’t turn the girls against their father.
Oh man, this whole wife and mother combination role is intense! The end goal always has to be that my husband feels loved by his wife and my daughters feel loved by their parents.